Written by Florence Ramoshaba and Senzekile Khumalo (ECCPs) in collaboration with Marijne Kunst (University of Leiden)
"Seeing me coming before even greetings she immediately said she was thinking about me. I asked her why. She looked away and said she was just thinking of me. Her eyes became teary and her voice faded for a moment. I tried to find her face but she went inside the house to fetch a chair for me. I stood outside for a while and she came holding a chair and a bucket. I [choose] to sit on a bucket while she sat on a chair. For a moment there was some quietness. I was not sure how to start this visit. So many questions on my mind and not knowing where to start." Thandiwe Khumalo (ECCP).
Whether you are a first-time mother, a mother from another African country or just a mother living in Alexandra, we ECCPs from Ububele know that motherhood can be a challenge. As mothers ourselves we have been through the same challenges.
Ububele’s home visiting program has been running since 2012. It includes four pregnancy visits and ten visits after birth, covering topics like your thoughts about your pregnancy, and understanding baby’s signals. Given how difficult parenting is, we tell mums ‘abazali abazamayo’: good parents are simply parents who keep on trying. Babies have thoughts and feelings and we help you understand this and respond properly. We are not there to judge you. The most important part of our work is being there for mothers, really listening, and creating space for all emotions to exist. Sometimes mothers share difficult stories, for example, about abuse or losing a baby, and in these moments especially, it is so important to us to listen and be with you. We also ask questions like. “How do you think you can help yourself to deal with that?”. We think together about solutions.
Sometimes new mothers feel low after birth. This could be postpartum depression and it is crucial to receive help. Important signs that you might be depressed include not
responding to your baby, or staying in your room all day. Sometimes we also see houses becoming dirty, and mom not noticing. When we see these signs, we know you are struggling and try to find you help. We can refer you to a psychologist. As ECCPs, we also use our own feelings to recognize when mothers are struggling. When we are feeling
very overwhelmed and worried in a situation, that shows additional support may be needed.
Being an ECCP means being with a mother. Although it may seem like a small action, it can have a huge impact. Motherhood is not something you are ever meant to do alone, and as ECCPs, we make sure you do not have to.
This Blog was written in collaboration with the University of Leiden. Ububele’s research partnership with the University of Leiden aims to provide a research basis and platform for the Ububele ECCPs to tell their stories.
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